She.GetsReal

She smiled at me but i couldn’t return the favor.She changed the topic but i couldn’t divert my mind.She saw that i was upset but never disturbed me when i was entangled in my thoughts. I started crying when she saw into my eyes. I told her to leave me alone. Then she left without saying a word.
My throat was aching as i had cried the whole day. I wanted to stop but feared that it would haunt me again. I felt as if the air i breathed was my only companion.
I sat at the window to take fresh air…to feel free …but….the wind was pinching me. I closed my eyes to swallow the pain.But the pain was far too strong to be swallowed . I ran…ran to get out of this pain but nothing could help me. I thought of jumping off the window…. yes…….. this is it…..i want this…i will do this……….no matter what……..
At last i felt as if i was getting what i wanted. The air around me was getting colder. I felt better….better than ever.
I faced the window and stood on the edge.I closed my eyes. I saw the days spent with my friends and family as a flashback… i smiled… not in my dream but for the last time… for the sake of my happiness. I opened my eyes for absorbing the feeling of fulfillment but what i saw was…..darkness…absolute darkness… I couldn’t see anything…I panicked…I tried to step back but wasn’t able to…i opened my mouth to cry but no sound reached my ears. I felt helpless… something drew me forward…but i revolted. I wanted to stay alive but it dragged to the finest edge of MY DEATH…. i again closed my eyes thinking that now it was over…over forever…

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but……..but………..something pushed me back……i felt a heavenly touch on my hands…then…..i looked behind…i couldn’t see properly but knew that it was she who pulled me back…….. then……..i fainted……………………………….
When i opened my eyes i saw her again. I was happier than ever. For the very first time i hugged her with the emotions flowing. Then i saw into her eyes and said,” Sorry, mom ….”